About seven years ago, I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, a type of high-functioning autism. That means that, while I have a degree of autism I can often pass for normal for short stretches of time. Honestly, I'm not sure if I could reliably pass a Turing test although I'm undeniably human.
When I was younger, I didn't know I had a syndrome, I just knew I was a freak, a human being that others saw as just a little less real than themselves. I recently wrote about something very small, something other people might find odd, which was oddly difficult and painful for me. I couldn't laugh right.
I also found things funny that other people found upsetting or maybe it was that people were upset by the laughter rather than by what triggered it. I often thought that people were just lousy at seeing the humor in things, that maybe normal people were all just a little bit stupid.
Anyway, here's the little memoir I wrote about practicing laughter to try and get it right.